When last I wrote, I was fine… I kissed him for the last time and turned away. My therapy dropped down to bi-weekly. Recently, I learned that this means I am no longer in “crisis” mode. Apparently, I was in crisis mode. My therapist is leaving soon. She offered me the chance to go through […]
Against the Shadows Part 4
Bergen It’s been days now. She’s just sat there. Watching me. Waiting. She is used to me though. I can move, sleep, wake, shuffle, piss… she’s okay with me being here. She’s sleeping now. She sleeps a lot. Screams often. Cries always. The abuse and grief blanket her body like a veil of death. I […]
Final Pieces… Falling Together…
“I watched Walking Dead this weekend,” I said. “The simplicity… They had a blacksmith, a garden… Everything was just… simple. And this… this is what I need to talk about. Ireland.” Simple. I thought. Is that all I really was looking for? As a child I stripped all electronics from my room. I wouldn’t even […]
Against the Shadows Part 3
“Elizabeth.” A smile spilled across my face. I knew him before I turned and saw him. “Raven,” I sighed. My smile fell the moment I looked. A stranger stood before me. “Who are you?” I asked. “You know who I am.” “I don’t…” I tried to remember. “This is how I really am.” And all […]
Marital Affairs
Coming Soon… Marital Affairs The ugly truth and Hollywood’s glorification of an emotionally shredding experience. I wrote this on 2 November 2015… then swiftly forgot about it. Now, at nearly a year later since I wrote Broken, is as good a time as any to reflect on this. I’m going to be what only […]
Against the Shadows Part #2
I stepped into the subterranean lake. As always, moonlight spilled across the lake. I didn’t have to wait long to hear Erik’s violin and I smiled. Many a day and night I had laid in this room, splayed on the steps… on the bed… listening to him play. I grew up here, crying into his […]
Finding Me… Part #1
Rain. Every chance I get… I greet the rain. Ireland. I’ll forever believe. If there is still magic in this world, it is in Ireland. Dance. Give me the space and the song, I will dance. I will dance to lift my spirits. Dance always make me smile. Cats. My sweet, little, furry friends. My […]
Against the Shadows Part #1
Comfort. Protection. Comfort. Ian walked the dark halls. The screaming jabbed at his head. Comfort. Within a matter of moments he was there, standing across the room, far in the shadows away from view. He watched Angel scream. She dug at her naked flesh. Pulled at her hair. Holding herself she whimpered and rocked until […]
So like me. You are I.
“You love him!” Hosea had screamed these words at me a hundred times before. There was no use in lying… pretending… I loved Him. It was more than apparent. I couldn’t say His name without glowing. “I do,” I said sorrowfully for Hosea. If there was a way I could undo this… Take away his […]
Where Love Belongs
“Elizabeth.” I raised my head to Ian who stood over me. “Ian?” I said. He knelt beside me and pulled me into his arms. “What is it, lass?” “I…” The sobs stifled my voice. “I’m lost.” “You’re right here, in me.” “I don’t know who I am anymore.” “Don’t you?” “I…” How could I explain? […]