Philosophy. Greek. Philo means Love. Sophie means Wisdom. A Love of wisdom. Not “a study of.” Logos means “to study” and gives root to the word “logic.” Logos also is Greek for “Idea.” Cool, huh? Why don’t we say “Sophilogy?”
I am a philosopher who takes Sophilogy (I am such a word nerd).
Just rambling thoughts.
There are multiple sources for an author these days and I see so much opportunity. I was a reader long before I was a writer and I remember thinking, “What summarizes this author?” I associate Jules Verne with 19th century “True Science Fiction” French Lit. But what am I associated with?
What am I? I think this would be summarized by my philosophy. Why do I write? What do I hope to accomplish? What are my goals?
While getting my third cup of coffee this morning (yes, third…I’m a writer after all), I think I found my answer. My goal on this earth has always ever been to learn as much as I possibly can about the human experience. What does it mean to be human? How are we different than animals?
The scientific definition for animal is “a warm blooded mammal with a vertebrae.” Well. Humans are warm-blooded mammals with vertebrae. Ergo, humans are animals. Every morning I walk my children to the bus stop and I study the paved sidewalk. Every morning I think, “Why have we done this?”
“This” is referring to, “created and laid pavement throughout our villages.” We are no different than the horse, the cat, the pig, or the dolphin, yet we have the engineering in our brains to manufacture and build machines and cities. More importantly we have a desire, an urge, a need to do this. Why? Why have we chosen to do this? Why are we so different?
I hate pavement, but humans have an aversion to mud. I don’t know why. I love mud. I love the feel of it between my toes and the feel of water washing it away. I never wear shoes. Maybe that’s why I don’t mind mud. I’m a gardener after all. Gardeners love mud and dirt.
I spend a lot of time pondering the human mind, defining humor, and exploring human emotion. I don’t feel most emotions (See “Broken”). They elude me and so, I spend a lot of my time contemplating their purpose. This is why I write, I think: to explore and experiment with emotion.
There is so much I just don’t understand. Why do we feel? What is humor? Why does one person find slapstick so funny while others don’t? My humor is dry and British. I love irony more than anything else. Patrick Wharburton is my hero. I detest slapstick. For me, I couldn’t stand the Home Alone movies…except for the part in the 3rd movie when the bad guy said, “I’m coming down!” and then promptly falls down the stairs. LOL…but it was the irony that cracks me up and not the visual of him falling.
I love “I Love Lucy” and “All In The Family.” I hated the Stooges. (Yes. I am 35 and adore 1950’s television).
So why do I live? What am I for? What do I dedicate my life to? Exploring and learning everything I can on the human experience. I just realized. I…am Data (Star Trek Generations reference for those who don’t know).
I had my assessment yesterday for therapy and the therapist kept asking me about trust.
“I trust no one,” I said. “No one.”
She asked me why.
“Because people will hurt you. People disappoint. I trust no one.”
“What about your husband?”
Why is this so hard for her to understand? I remember thinking. I think it is just as hard for me to understand why anyone would trust.
“No,” I said. “Not even my husband. No one.”
Looking back, I think I do trust my husband on some level. I must. I think I trust him subconsciously, though. My husband knows this…This is why I am in therapy. Apparently, this is not normal.
Trust eludes me. I don’t understand it. I don’t know why we have it. Or why we need it.
Have I scared you yet, dear reader?
As I said, I am very curious about emotions and the human experience. I think this is why I write. I am out to understand the human experience.
