I wrote this back in June 2015 when a someone hacked into my email and stole my contact list by sending this letter to all my contacts.

 

To the lachrymose individual who hacked into my email and attempted to hoodwink my friends by having them send money to the Philippines.

First, I will have you know that my comrades, friends, and fellow cohorts are far more intelligent than you give them credit for. I do not associate myself with anyone who is foolish enough to think I would travel anywhere without first making a grand declaration of such event and they know this.

Second, how dare you claim that I would have written anything composed with such dreadful grammar. I would never cross a participle with a predicate, nor would I ever think to end my sentences on a preposition. My dear friends—most of whom are writers—saw through your cheap thrills of “u” and “thru” instantly.

If, in the near future, you decide to try and bamboozle us again, you should first consider taking some courses in creative writing and…good god, man! Purchase a copy of Strunk and White! Utilizing the spell check couldn’t hurt you either, and perhaps you should learn my writing style. I suggest you purchase a copy of Dolor and Shadow and have a read. You might learn a thing or two on my writing style. My book is available on Amazon.

 

Nothing Found

 

May you find something more promising to earn a buck or two.

-Angela