Liar

“He called me a liar,” I said gazing out the window. Judith’s stare bore into the back of my head, but I didn’t care. I only watched the rain fall. “It’s as if… the heavens are crying for me.”
 
“So he read Broken and he called you liar,” Judith said. “How do you feel?”
 
Feel. I had gone numb again. Judith knew. She was trying to awaken me to my feelings, but I didn’t want to feel. Still… I had to appease her.
 
“Liar,” I whispered.
 
The rains fell disrupting our silence.
 
“I don’t know one world from the next anymore,” I said. “I’m lost. I thought I knew what reality was. I was there. Loving and living with Erik, Angel, Ian… and Raven…” I shook my head still staring at the rain. “I don’t know anymore.”
 
Judith held her tongue. She always knew when to listen.
 
“When I came out of the other worlds and returned to this one, I thought… I thought everyone was right, and I was wrong. I thought, I don’t know any better. But I trusted you all to show me. So I entered this world—your world—where I am to believe I was raped and beaten… tortured… And I thought once again, I knew what reality was until…”
 
“Until?”
 
“Until he called me liar. Now… I’m not sure any more. What if this reality isn’t the reality you all are saying it is? What if his reality is the truth? He was there for some of it. He would know… Wouldn’t he?”
 
“Would he?” she asked. Damn psychological mind games.
 
“I see…” I smiled, sadly… I could feel my mind teetering on the edge of insanity again. “I see infinity. Not infinity like space and distance. Time. But an infinity of worlds, width wide. An infinity where every thought, every dream forms a new reality. I see a world of realities amid the first reality. And we are all only giving birth to new realities. And now… we’re so lost. Mixed up in our own realities. All passing through religions, trying to find the right reality. The first reality. But we can’t find it. And now… Now I don’t know what my reality is anymore. I’m doubting everything. I don’t know… I don’t know if I was raped. If I was beaten. Did my cats die? Did they even exist? I can’t trust me… or my senses. I can’t trust my memory to ground me. I can’t trust yours either or his. I… I don’t know what’s real anymore. And so… instead of finding myself like I had hoped through Broken… I am more lost in an infinite number of realities… and I can’t find mine. I can’t find me.
 
What is reality anyway?
 
That voice. Too well I knew that voice. I turned and gazed at Ian. My six foot two Nord Lord. My prince. My arrogant ass.
 
“Ian,” I whispered, shook my head then smiled. “Bergen,” I corrected.
 
I told you once… he said. It could be me who is writing you, my sweet Author. It is I who could be the master of your reality and I let you write me… to use me… to dream.
 
Bergen, please stop.
 
But why should I, Elizabeth? After all the Hel you put me through in my story… why in Hel’s infinite name should I ever go easy on you?
 
I didn’t answer. I was no longer the author of this story. I was only his puppet playing my part in his. Fear riddled me. Fear consumed me. I alone knew what I had done to Bergen with my pen. I alone knew Bergen’s taste for vengeance.
 
“You don’t know anymore do you?” he said. “Or perhaps… Perhaps this paper in front of you… This pen is the only real truth to anything. And we are the gods we seek. Now wouldn’t that just be a bitch.” He smiled. “You said it yourself.”
 
I felt my lips move.
 
“And Death it calls as the stone crow breaks. Streaks of blood malform my face.
 
Death becomes my withered eyes and the shadows whisper, “Lies.”
 
I watched that gorgeous smile stretch his Nordic face with pleasure.
 
“Why don’t you tell them, Elizabeth. Tell them what that really means.”
I heard the scratch of Bergen’s match. The sweet stink of pipe weed filled the air. And I began to speak…

“There at love’s bitter end when the deadened heart is done,

The moon it wanes with one last sigh and the silence breaks. It breathes, “The end.”

And Death it calls as the stone crow breaks. Streaks of blood malform its face.

Death becomes its withered eyes and the shadows whisper, “Lies.”

 

Now within the dying ground as I hear my maddened sound,

From the eaves the darkness seeps. It is there the shadows speak.

With outstretched hand, I call, I moan. My fingers graze Death’s withered hand,

“My love,” I gasp. Despair clamps down, yet all I hear are lies.

 

With words of love, you kiss my face. Your sodden tears they fall like rain.

With twisted smile or upturned frown, you walk away, my death unfurled,

And I regain my heart betwixt your love, my blood, the lies, the pain

Yet you see none, and there I lay remembering your lies.

 

Belittle were your words of love, despite the warmth within your touch

You made my body sing and cry, and smiling you would watch me writhe

Voiced with words and sweet caress, you impaled me with your flesh

Now, upon my death we part. Still, the shadows whisper, “Lies.”

 

Throwing back my naked breast, cold death’s grip, I welcome it.

And at last, with final breath I open up, invite him in.

Through me, riddles Death’s cold hand, as he rakes my skin from bone,

Death, in peace, at last I’ll sleep while the shadows whisper lies.

 

There at love’s bitter end when the deadened heart is done,

The moon it wanes with one last sigh and the silence breaks. It breathes, “The end.”

And Death it calls as the stone crow breaks. Streaks of blood malform my face.

Death becomes my withered eyes and the shadows whisper, “Lies.”

 

About the Author: Anna Imagination

Biographical Info... What you seek is my Story. Every Soul is a "Blurb" as one would read on the back of the book. But can people be "unwrapped" so easily? Most importantly, why try? I have long since learned to preserve the Savory that comes with Discovery. Learning of another Soul is a Journey. It is an Exploration. And it does not do the Soul Justice to try and condense a Soul Journey into a Bio.