Hello you. I’ve missed our chats. I just finished painting the hall. It’s 9:09 P.M. I had a sudden case of “must paint the walls.” I hate this stage. This is the “I feel I have no control over my fate, my self, or my existence. I know! I will paint the walls. This way I will feel control over something.” And I’m marking the territory as mine. So I’m replacing the start white with warm tans and color. I love the psychology of light and color, but that is for another time and article.

I had another nightmare last night. I hate my nightmares. I was with Luffy, but he had lost his devil fruit powers. Translation for the non-anime lover: Imagine Captain Jack Sparrow had Iron Man’s super powers. Now imagine him…as a normal, 13 year old boy. Now imagine you and he were being hunted only you can’t identify the enemy. You know you have one, but they are nameless. Faceless. Without identity. All the psychologists out there are all smiling. “interesting” they’re all thinking to themselves.

*Grunt* I say to you. I didn’t sleep well as a result. I just learned about libel laws regarding memoir writing so I spent today researching legal and reviewing a memoir disclaimer with my “legal department” to cover my legal arse. I then altered a few things in Broken to cover my butt. I should be good now 🙂

I’m tired. I hate the 4th of July. Fireworks are a trigger for me. It’s the loud random and ongoing “BANGS.” So the 4th was not fun for me. It never is. I often wonder what it would be like being you. What it would be like to enjoy things like holidays, crowds, and fireworks. I feel like I’m watching through a looking glass, dreaming I could join you one day. *sigh*

I do so miss our chats…