The Present Self

Love is when… I love myself so much that I put You first.

And I was there. In life, You must Nourish the Self until, you Nourish the Self so much that Nourish the Other, Nourishes You.

Nourishing my Imp King, Nourishes me.

That is Love.

The Material is just The Present.

The Abstract is The Future.

The Past does not exists beyond the Archives.

How do we nourish our loved ones?

***

I stared out the subway. Making the exchange. Getting my stuff back. Every inch of me was screaming, but I had no choice. We had gone all through this and it was down to this.

I saw him in the subway. My stomach knotted. He was fucking gorgeous. He always was. I felt sick and I was shaking.

Just make the swap and leave.

I came to him.

Do we hug?

We didn’t.

We swapped bags.

We’re done.

Do we shake hands? Do we say something?”

“Well, I’ll be seeing you.”

“No. You won’t.”

Oh, god no. Not that one.

I was turning and walking away.

“Don’t go.”

I stopped. I looked back. He was there, crying.

“Don’t go,” he said, his voice cracking.

I ran to him. I heard the glass in my bag break and we hugged, and we sobbed, and he grabbed my face and he kissed me. And kissed me.

“Don’t go,” he said.

“As you wish,” I said.

***

“You wrote two endings!” you said following this broadcast.

“I did, yes,” I said, seated next to you on the couch.

“Why? Now which one will happen?”

I shrugged.

“It wasn’t really the point and besides! You already know how it happened!” I squeezed his toes. “And… I don’t care. I just wanted options, this whole thing has been a Diversion, and I wanted you to be surprised.”

“For me to be surprised? What? Diversion?”

“Yes.”

“And how will I be surprised?” you asked, or you would have if you weren’t deeply engrossed in reading or watching this.

…Because I’m writing this on 24 July 2024 as an answer to your Future Marriage Proposal that you will try to surprise me with, BUT because I remembered FIRST I had the time to write up all of this and give you my answer in this world now… And so.

It feels weird having these Visions and seeing these Future events enfold while living in a Present where our Relationship is on the line, and I’ve just asked you if you Value me or Care for me… and the more we walked down that road towards “The End,” the more these Visions got brighter.

But, in answer to your question…

Yes. I will marry you.

Checkmate.

PS – This is how gods propose…

PPS – I have a LOT of unsent letters for you to read, that my past self wrote to your Future Self at this precise moment of time. I love you, Monkey Man. I’ll send them to you after I leave your place.

PPS – This Story is your Second Wedding Present.