Currently on board the Slush Brain…
Donned in her gown, a tiara, and her kick-ass thigh-high stiletto heeled leather boots by the name of “Daryl” and “Dixon,” Captain Boozic (That’s me) and her sexy first mate, I-can-hold-my-own-armed-with-a-wine-glass Mrs. Dixon, have risen this fine Monday Morning to commence with some wild debauchery. Before the booze is drunk and the debauchery can get underway, the loquacious too-loud-for-a-Monday-Morning ship mate, Incorrigible Corvus arrives.
Captain Boozic: I need to watch The Walking Dead this morning before I wander too far into social media
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Corvus: Yes you should. Great Finale.
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Mrs. Dixon: OMG, Captain, it was so good!!
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Corvus: Morning, shipmates 🙂
Morning Mrs. Dixon! How are you?
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Captain Boozic: Pulling TWD up now
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Mrs. Dixon: Awake. Maybe…I see you are extra awesome today, Corvus
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Corvus: Can I slap you on the ass to wake you up?
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Captain Boozic: He is…almost want to shoot him…Almost
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Corvus: It’s a beautiful morning!!!!
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Mrs. Dixon: Ummm… I suppose that would probably do it.
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Captain Boozic: I’m awake. Never went to sleep so I’m good. WIIIIIIIIIIDE the fuck awake still
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Mrs. Dixon: It snowed last night- again. And I haven’t had coffee yet. It will be more beautiful after the cup is empty 🙂
Yeah, Captain. What’s up with that?
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Captain Boozic: Hm
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Corvus: I’m high as a kite!!!
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Captain Boozic: Shoot him
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Corvus: You missed!
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Captain Boozic: OOOOH! LET’S TIE HIM TO THE MAST!!!
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Mrs. Dixon: I want to see if he sings the rest of the song first
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Captain Boozic: GET HIIIIIIIIIIIIIM
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Corvus: YES PLEASE!!! And strip me down!
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Captain Boozic: No! Clothes stay on! You deserve to be punished
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Mrs. Dixon: Ok. I like that idea. I have left over zip ties around here somewhere…
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Captain Boozic: I’ll lather you in honey and ants
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Corvus: YES!!!! Oooo, punish me!
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Captain Boozic: CORVUS AND ZIP TIES!!!! That’s niiiiiiiiiiiiiice
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Mrs. Dixon: LMAO You’ve made my wonderful Monday morning even more awesome!!!!!
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Corvus: Yay for Mondays!!!!!!
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Captain Boozic: Ugh! GAG HIM!!!
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Mrs. Dixon: Yay for zip ties and honey! Oops, forgot the ants
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Captain Boozic: I have a ball gag in my purse. No questions
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Mrs. Dixon: Of course you do. Take my zip ties and your ball gag, and there’s a Friday night worth remembering
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Corvus: Lol!
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Captain Boozic: heheheheee…Who says I don’t have my own?
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Corvus: You crazy gals…now tie me up!!
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Captain Boozic: GAG HIM FIRST!
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Mrs. Dixon: Lol. Well I don’t have a ball gag, but there are lots if other things to stuff in an open mouth, my dear
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Captain Boozic: *wraps rope around Incorrigible Corvus’ wrists
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Incorrigible Corvus: mmmc m mm mmm mm mm mmmmmmm!!!
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Captain Boozic: Wraps rope around Corvus and the mast
*The captain pauses for a moment and gives “the evil glare”*
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Mrs. Dixon: I’m fresh out of honey. I do have peanut butter 🙂 And corn syrup. Let me see what else is in the pantry…
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Captain Boozic: CHOCOLATE!!!
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Mrs. Dixon: Yes!
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Captain Boozic: Lather him in chocolate!
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Mrs. Dixon: I always have chocolate…and caramel
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Captain Boozic: Aaaah… Silence
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Mrs. Dixon: Love caramel
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Captain Boozic: I will finish tying him up
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Mrs. Dixon: Don’t forget the ankles…I hope you remembered to bring the ants on board before we left shore
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Captain Boozic: Ankles, waist, arms hoisted over the head…I need a step stool
Yep! I keep them in my pants
Sing me a dirge, Matey
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Mrs. Dixon: LOL!! Yes, forgot you would need a step stool. Let me help.
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Captain Boozic: Heheheeee…Listen!
Do you hear that, Mrs. Dixon? That’s the sound of silence
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Mrs. Dixon: Yes. He’s suddenly quite mute
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Captain Boozic: It’s my ball gag
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Mrs. Dixon: Beautiful sound it is, too
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Corvus: Ball gag’s have that affect. Mine’s black
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Corvus: *glares intently*
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Captain Boozic: *smiles sweetly and bats eye lashes at Corvus’ intent glare*
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Mrs. Dixon: LOL
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Captain Boozic: I do so love Mondays. Corvus is right! TODAY IS A BEAUTIFUL DAY!!!
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Mrs. Dixon: Beautiful and quiet !
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Captain Boozic: Now I’m really going to punish him! I will drink HIS JAMESON IN FRONT OF HIM
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Mrs. Dixon: Oh, an BTW. Black ball gags are niiiiiice!!
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Captain Boozic: *coughs Jameson down the front of her*
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Corvus: @%$# %&* $@@%$&*!
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Captain Boozic: LMAO
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Mrs. Dixon: I was actually going to say sit it just out of reach. So he can stare at it. But that works, too. Pass it over, wench.
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Captain Boozic: Nope! If he wants he, he can come and get it..oh wait.
*pouts at Corvus* poor baby
I have a feeling this may come back to bite me in the ass later
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Mrs. Dixon: Oh, ya think???????
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Captain Boozic: Heheheeee.. Maybe.. IF WE untie him
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Mrs. Dixon: I’m not rushing on that one.
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Captain Boozic: Heheheheeee…It’s a good look for him, I think
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Mrs. Dixon: And a nice perch for the birds
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Captain Boozic: Corvus? Do you want me to take the ball gag out of your mouth?
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Corvus: *Crow shits on head*
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Captain Boozic: Are you nuts, woman!!!!!!
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Corvus: *Nods head yes*
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Captain Boozic: *kindly wipes the crow shit of Corvus’ head for him*
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Mrs. Dixon: You think he’s learned his lesson? Cuz I’m not falling for some polite nod
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Captain Boozic: If I take the gag out, you must say “The Captain is my goddess”
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Mrs. Dixon: LOL!!
You know, I really am quite awake now. Wonder how that happened
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Captain Boozic: Can you say that, Corvus? LOL…ME TOO! Men have that affect 🙂
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Corvus: *Nods yes*
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Mrs. Dixon: Some. Others I just want to push off a bridge 🙂
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Captain Boozic: *removes ball gag…*
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Corvus: Happy, Happy, Happy, Happy Monday Morning!!!!!!!!
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Captain Boozic: *SHOVES BALL GAG BACK IN MOUTH
Gently
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Corvus: @$%^$&*!!
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Mrs. Dixon: See???
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Captain Boozic: MORE JAMESON ALL AROUND!!!
And I want a hat!
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Mrs. Dixon: Woohoo!
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Captain Boozic: A big hat! With a wide plume!
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Mrs. Dixon: Of course
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Captain Boozic: And today is the day we all say ARGH!!!
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Mrs. Dixon: Except Corvus. Cuz, ya know. Ball gag…
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Corvus: *eyes glaze over*
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Captain Boozic: Yep!
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Corvus: *falls asleep*
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Captain Boozic: *Pours water on Corvus’ head*
WAKE UP CORVUS IT’S MONDAY MOOOOOOOOOOORNING!!!!
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Corvus: *sound asleep*
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Mrs. Dixon: And it’s NOT HAPPY!!!!!
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Captain Boozic: *tickles nose with my plume*
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Corvus: *falls into a darkened descent*
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Captain Boozic: RELEASES THE ANTS!!!
Well! Cindy! I am off to watch TWD then email and social media! Adieu! And enjoy your Monday
*Leaves sign on Corvus that says, “Can’t hold his liquor”*
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