Blaster fire grazed Han’s face and he fell back into the wall with Leia beside him.
“This isn’t good,” Leia observed and Han risked a glance down the hall.
“Yeah. Tell me something I don’t know,” Han said, fumbling with a strap on his blaster. “I have an idea. I just need…”
Han looked around the corner, down the intersecting hall just as a blaster fired from the balcony behind Han. The blast struck the wall beside Han’ head, and Leia fired a shot, killing the Wookie at the end of the corridor.
Han whipped back around. “I needed him,” Han said. “We’re surrendering.”
“What!?” Leia shrieked, and Han grinned. “Trust me.” And before Leia could stop Han, he jumped out into the corridor and raised his arms in surrender at the next pack of Wookies approaching. His blaster dangling on a strap suspended from his wrist.
“Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaa,” the Wookie said.
“Easy now,” Han said. “Easy.”
A blaster fired from the balcony, diverting, the pack of Wookies’s attention to Chewbacca. Han swung his blaster on its strap, sending it firing into the pack of Wookies before it touched his hand. The scene engulfed lost in smoke and streaks of red from the blasters as chunks of the balcony fell. Silence followed as the last Wookie fell.
“Aaaaaaaa.” Chewbacca said to Han.
“I know we’re out numbered! Get down—”
A blaster fired, impaling Han’ stomach.
“Han!” Leia screamed and open fired down the corridor at the second wave of Wookies that have filed in. “Chewy! Get him behind me!”
Jumping from the balcony, Chewbacca moved to help Han into the hall when Wookie charged Chewbacca. Chewy turned, meeting him head on and grabbed the Wookie’s blaster.
“Aaaaa!” Chewbacca howled as the Wookie, slashed at Chewbacca, leaving a set of four deep gashes across his chest. With a bout of “Aaaaaaaaaaaa,” Chewbacca grabbed the Wookie’s head.
“Chewy! Hurry!” Leia called over the blaster shots as another wave poured into the corridor. A snap followed, and Chewy released the limp body.
“Aaa…” Chewy mournfully groaned.
“We don’t have time for this,” Leia said, and Chewy collected Han and moved him into the intercepting corridor for cover as Leia fired the last shot.
“How bad is it?” Leia asked joining them behind the corner. Chewbacca omitted a mournful, “Aaaaaa.”
Han grinned despite the sweat already forming on his brow. “Come on it’s not tha—“
“Aaa,” Chewy argued.
“We need to get you to a medic,” Leia said.
“Nah,” Han said. The stench of bowels was strong.
“No! You know that procedure will kill you, I won’t—“
Leia exchanged glances between them, uncertain of the argument as the last of Han’ strength left him. Before Han could object again, Chewbacca dropped his hands on Han’ shoulders. In a matter of moments, the lines across Chewy’s chest closed up and Han’s stomach stopped bleeding. As the wound mended itself, Han fell to the floor just as he saw Chewy’s face transform, his hair lightened to a sandy blond… and everything went black.
* * *
A breeze from an open window stirred Han from his sleep as the smell of early spring in Kashyyyk greeted him. He moved and winced, expecting the pain from the blaster shot, but nothing came. Soft white sheets, a clean hospital room, and flowers decorating every table forced a plethora of questions to the surface.
A light tap on the door turned Han’s attention to… well… Han standing in the door with that cocky grin he knew and loved too well.
“Hey,” the second Han said, inviting himself in. “You’re awake.”
“Who are you?” Han asked and the Second Han chuckled.
Han had an overwhelming urge to punch himself in the face.
“A lot has changed in the last two weeks,” the Second Han said, helping Han out of bed. “Come on, let’s get you home.”
“The zombie apocalypse hasn’t started has it?” Han asked.
“Nah,” the Second Han said.
“Good,” Han said. “I’d hate to miss that.”
* * *
The red Vetter Cruiser sped over the earthen road as Han took in the lush greens and rolling hills of Kashyyyk. Beside him, the Second Han grinned, his arm resting too comfortably on the wheel of the cruiser.
“After you passed out, the Wookies summoned peace talks once they realized the leader of the Schism was dead.”
“When did that happen?” Han asked.
“You were there,” the Second Han said. “Chewbacca snapped his neck while you were bleeding out on the floor. With him gone, the talks were settled and the Schism dissolved reuniting the land of Kashyyyk.”
“So, Second Han… that’s all well and good, but why am I talking to myself in a vetter cruiser being driven by myself?”
“Well… that’s where things get a little more complicated my friend,” Second Han said. “After you passed out, Chewbacca used the Shimdalu on you.”
“Yeah, I remember that part.”
“It saved you, but comprised him.”
“I told him that would happen.”
“Though we were certain you would be fine, we weren’t so sure about Chewbacca,” the Second Han said. “We had to compose for him an artificial body through cell cloning. Only… the procedure was comprised since he conducted the Shimdalu on you. Your cells were then in his.”
“Leave it Chewy to complicate a thing like death,” Han said. “So what happened?”
“If we were to save Chewy, we had to clone him a new body. And seeing as how we couldn’t sort the cells, we used yours instead.”
“You used my what?”
“You cloned Chewbacca to look like me!?” Han looked at Second Han. “Chewy!”
“No! No! Not me,” Second Han said. “Chewy is with Leia. We figured, since we’re cloning Han, we may as well make more than one. Great idea, right? I mean… you were unconscious, and we needed someone to pose as you for political reasons.”
“And you couldn’t use Chewy?”
“Well, not exactly. You see… the body cloned. It would take us a while to teach Chewy how to speak your language. He roared for the longest time. We finally sorted things out, but here’s the problem. We weren’t sure how the clone would respond to the concept of being a clone upon awakening, so we programmed the clone to think it was the original providing us with a chance to explain the situation.”
“What are you saying?”
“You’re not really Han,” Second Han said. “I am. And that wasn’t exactly a hospital you were in. It was the CCCS. The Center for Cloning and Cell Studies. ”
A sinking sick fell to the bottom of Han’s stomach. The Second Han went on as if nothing had changed.
“Chewy united his lands with his father’s, peace has blessed Kashyyyk again, and Chewy has developed a strong friendship with Leia. He even made her ruler of his portion of Kashyyyk. Leia is thinking about settling here. She said Kashyyyk reminds her of Alderaan.”
“Great, I’ve always wanted to live in a community of walking rugs,” Han said as the vetter cruiser pulled into a vast lot at the end of a ranch-styled flat.
“Here we are,” the Second Han said, getting out of the cruiser. “Leia’s inside.”
“Great,” Han said, following the Second Han, into the common room of the flat where Leia, Padme, and a short brunette were seated in plush leather couches surrounding a glass coffee table.
The Second Han led Han into the common room, dropping the keys to the vetter cruiser into a dish by the door.
“He’s here,” the Second Han called.
“So is this deleted scenes, or did they do one hell of a makeup job on you all to make you all look thirty years younger?” the brunette asked Leia and Padme before taking a sip of the coffee.
“This is deleted footage from the seventh movie,” Leia said and took a sip from her coffee.
“So this is added with the Director’s Edition,” the Brunette said.
“Yes. We pulled it from the archives for the release,” Padme said.
The brunette turned to Han and Second Han as they stopped in the common room and smiled. “Hi. I’m Angela,” she said, extending an open hand.
Leia looked at Second Han who shook Angela’s hand.
“You told him?” Leia said.
“I did,” said Second Han with a grin.
“Hey, Leia!” a voice called from the bathroom.
“Excuse me,” Leia said and, setting down her coffee, walked to the bathroom as the door opened. There, in the doorway stood a third, though-not-quite, Han with a towel wrapped rather low around his waist.
Han looked at the blond line of hair from the third, though-not-quite, Han’s navel to his chest where four lines of scars caught the light. The brown hair that should have been in the likeness of his, was more of a sandy blond.
Han watched as Leia smiled and leaned in, doing so much more than just kissing the third, though-not-quite, Han as he playfully pulled her into the bathroom.
“You!” Han shouted as all the memories flooded back. “You aren’t a third, though-not-quite, Han! You are a wookie! I know what Wookie blood does to a clone when mixed with an interracial species! You are a Wookie Han! Chewbacca!”
The third, though-not-quite, Han stopped kissing Leia at once and looked at Han as if suddenly aware and surprised to see Han standing there next to the Second Han.
“You!” Han said looking at the Second Han who felt now was the time to fall on the floor in a fit of laughter.
“What did you tell him, Bergen!?” Leia said suddenly pissed as she approached the Second Han.
“What do you think he told me, Leia!?” Han said, holding everything back to not power drive the Second Han.
“He was supposed to tell you that Chewy and I were together now! What did he tell you?”
“This load of garbage about clones and—” Han looked at the Second Han rolling on the floor. “That was the biggest load of crap—”
Han’s head spun as the Second Han, held his sides, rolling about on the floor. Angela and Padme looked by, stunned, though thoroughly entertained.
Wookie Han walked to Han and extended a hand.
“I’m sorry, Haaaaaans,” Wookie Han said. “Aaaaafter you passed out, Leiaaa and I started talking, and things developed….”
“I’m sorry, Han,” Leia said.
Han heard nothing, but the laughter.
Shouting, Han lunged into Wookie Han’s gut. They threw punches, grabbing the other, and wrestling to the ground as Leia called out, “Han! Chewy! Please stop!”
The Second Han laughed on.
Han took up a cup from the coffee table and smashed it into Wookie Han’s head, but the Wookie Han, slammed his fist into the side of Han’s head and—
My alarm woke me up right here and yes! Readers… This was my dream last night! And the “Vetter Cruiser” is not misspelled. It was a Corvette turned cruiser. I have a thing for Corvettes. This “Vetter Cruiser” was styled in the likeness of the 1975 Anniversary edition. It was red.