This is Chapter 41 of “Broken.” Yes, Bergen found his way into “Broken,” (although I call him “Ian” in Broken for personal reasons). This Chapter is the only one through Bergen’s PoV so I decided to post it as a treat! Enjoy, you Bergen lovers!
Broken Chapter 41
I followed Elizabeth out the door, happy to leave the cottage and the fan boy behind for the moment. I never did well indoors and despite the situation, I was relieved to be outside again.
Elizabeth was moving, already she was wandering across the yard. I thought she would stomp right through the stream, but she was paying attention enough for that and stepped on over it.
I followed her for a ways into the trees. The moon was full tonight, but the cloud cover was thick. The occasional streak of light found its way down to her for only a moment, blocked by the forest canopy. Once the trees cleared, she stopped where the rolling hills began and spanned as far as the eye could see. There it was that the moonlight touched down. An ancient stone wall, so old that the land had formed up and around it, cut through the land. So old it moved like a natural vein as if the Celtic gods had built it there themselves.
Elizabeth settled herself onto the stone. I watched her reach into her pocket and pull out her cell giving me the time to catch up and stand beside her. To the right. Always to the right where she liked me to be.
I peered down at her email and saw her write.
I know you’re not available right now and that’s fine. I just need…you. Just you right now. Nothing more.
I miss you and I am not well. I’m tired and It’s been so fucking hard remembering all of this. What I need right now is to hear your voice and lay in your arms, and I know you can’t do that right now so…
I’m writing this all out instead because it’s all I’ve got.
I really can’t say any more than what’s already been said, and I can’t say anything you don’t already know. I just wanted to write to feel a little bit closer to you after the day that I’ve had. I miss you.
I watched her send the email.
“You know that’s not what you want to say,” I said.
“It doesn’t matter what I want to say,” she said, gazing out over the hills.
I smiled. She knew I wouldn’t hold my tongue. She knew me too well.
“It matters to you,” I said.
She sighed. “I’m tired, Bergen. Go away.”
“You don’t just miss him.”
What she needed was to make love to him. She would never admit that. Not to him or herself.
“It doesn’t matter,” she argued. Of course she argued.
“It matters,” I said. “You won’t tell him what you feel. What you think. You won’t even tell yourself. You’ve got to tell someone. Tell me.”
“You are me you…Uskit.”
I ignored the insult.
“She isn’t here so you turn to him. Is that it?”
She looked down at her hands.
“Say the words, Elizabeth. If you don’t say them, the words will just eat you.”
She dropped her hands to her lap and raised her face to the sky.
“I need him, alright?”
I watched her eyes fill with moonlight and tears.
“More than ever I need him! And so what? He isn’t here. He can’t be here. I knew this going in. I accepted it.”
“He’d be here if he could,” I said.
“I don’t want him here. He can’t be here. He’d only get hurt.”
“But you need him.”
“He doesn’t need to know about any of this.”
I sighed and sat on the stone wall beside her.
“You know what he would do if he were here right now, don’t you?”
She nodded and a tear spilled down her cheek.
“Come put your sweet head on my shoulder, lass,” I said.
She smiled and sighed relieving just a smidgeon of that strength she prized.
“Thank you, Bergen.”
I felt her relax into me, and I smiled.
She looked up at me, her head still on my shoulder.
If ever a lass looked more forlorn I couldn’t recall. I leaned down and brushed her lips with mine.