“To be nobody but yourself in a world that is doing its best, night and day, to make you into everybody else means to fight the hardest battle which any human being can fight.” E.E. Cummings I have to ask, why do we keep choosing to fight this battle? Breathe in. And out. And smile. […]
Deadened to The Walking Dead
Today is Wednesday. For me, that means I slow down for the day and avoid all work. It seems weird to most that I would take a full day off every Wednesday, but it recently occurred to me, we don’t call it “Hump day” for nothing. I took the push out of hump day. The […]
Unbroken
“I’m sorry. I have to end our commitment.” I run these words over and over in my head lately. I can’t stop replaying them. “It’s been a while since we last spoke.” I looked at William at my kitchen table. The afternoon Irish sun blazed through the open window. From here I could see the […]
Breathe. Let go. Smile.
Mediation is the undoing of trauma. Yoga is mediation for your body. – Angela B. Chrysler I feel it. The end of my journey. The end. Something you never quite recognize until you can look back and see just how far you’ve come. Something you never quite recognize until you can look ahead and smile. […]
The power of “I.”
This is one post I’ve put off for a while. A number of my followers will unfollow me. Many will lash out at me. Total strangers will attack me for this. Then, just yesterday, I realized that these same people didn’t care about me when they horrified me and threatened me as a child. Nor […]
18 Months Later
28 August 2016… 2 April 2015 I was checked into the ER for evaluation. I still remember the panic attack because I was standing two feet from a male who wasn’t my Isaac. The room had nearly ten people in it and I couldn’t breathe. I shook from head to toe, and it was […]
Protected: Is Broken Real?
There is no excerpt because this is a protected post.
Unbreaking Me: Look Back
When last I wrote, I was fine… I kissed him for the last time and turned away. My therapy dropped down to bi-weekly. Recently, I learned that this means I am no longer in “crisis” mode. Apparently, I was in crisis mode. My therapist is leaving soon. She offered me the chance to go through […]
Against the Shadows Part 4
Bergen It’s been days now. She’s just sat there. Watching me. Waiting. She is used to me though. I can move, sleep, wake, shuffle, piss… she’s okay with me being here. She’s sleeping now. She sleeps a lot. Screams often. Cries always. The abuse and grief blanket her body like a veil of death. I […]
Final Pieces… Falling Together…
“I watched Walking Dead this weekend,” I said. “The simplicity… They had a blacksmith, a garden… Everything was just… simple. And this… this is what I need to talk about. Ireland.” Simple. I thought. Is that all I really was looking for? As a child I stripped all electronics from my room. I wouldn’t even […]